“The life you want begins by embracing the life you have.”- Rob Bell
Relationships are an exciting part of life and the life we lead is complex! What makes couple stay connected is a question to ponder. The way individuals deal with relationships is subjective in nature.
I believe ‘for a successful relationship’ time is crucial. Couples evolve with time along with trials and tribulations. Again, ‘how much time?’ I have no clue! People imbue relationships with different meanings and approach them with varying goals. The decision to enter into a romantic relationship, preferences for partner attributes, and goals for relationships vary widely across the life course. Experiences and environment build us. It also greatly affects the way we understand life. It is unique.
Sticking to each other through thick and thin is a mighty task. It needs conscious actions. How complex it would be to make things work when two people of diverse backgrounds, each having their own set of experiences, come together and lead a life, which is one of a kind. This evolution is astounding.
Let us scrutinize this topic today, let us understand it together. Here are the 8 things ‘that make couples stay connected’. Few are my very own experiences; few are a result of my interactions with the people I came across and few are by mere observation. These are my own. Let me know your thoughts.
- Although a couple, individually they maintain their identity and have ongoing personal goals.
The couples maintain their individuality and respect each other’s choices. Different identities and interests can complement each other and create a stronger bond. Focusing on personal goals leads to self-improvement.
‘Like-minded’ people, together as a couple may not work, sometimes!
- They understand communication styles.
It seems they have understood the crux of maintaining the relationship i.e. mastered the art of ‘communicating’. The couple may have understood each other’s and their own communication styles, which help them to navigate misunderstandings and conflicts with more empathy and ease. Most of them have found that ‘openly’ sharing what you exactly feel works well and helps in having an authentic dialogue. - They effectively pick the battles.
They seem to pick healthy conflicts and know which ones are those! They selectively choose the disagreements which are worth fighting for. Individually they evaluate ‘is it a petty issue? If yes, take a step back.’ That seems like a perfect strategy which leads to mutual growth. - Perfect themselves in listening and forgiveness.
If they are good communicators, they could be a natural at listening and forgiving. Sounds angelic! This helps in recovering from a conflict. These are the bonus steps to accept the relationship, unconditionally. - Embrace healthy conflicts.
Conflicts are destined to happen in any relationship whether it be romantic, platonic or familial, so learning to embrace conflicts and learn from the disagreements is an important life skill. They have an immense readiness to resolve. - Take turns, share responsibilities.
This keeps the relationships real. Through sharing responsibilities, one is trying to convey respect and acknowledge individual contribution. It demonstrates the idea that relationships are reciprocal in nature. It is a collaboration. - They master the art of being responsible for their own happiness.
Relationships can and should be a source of joy in one’s life, (if they weren’t why would one invest all the time and energy?), but at the end of the day, each one is in charge of his/her own happiness. “We are not here to complete each other; we have our respective destinies.” - Learn and grow together.
Learning is a huge part of any form of growth. Finding ways to grow as individuals, together, creates a long-lasting bond. Also, couple tend to take extra efforts to encourage each other to learn new skills. How empowering!
We all age hence for a relationship to maintain long term, individuals must embrace change. You speak to couples celebrating 30 or 40 years of togetherness, they share a classic take home message.
What is that?
“If both are angry, one has to take a back seat, and then take turns to get angry and in taking the back seat too!”
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