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Between the swipes-Are dating applications redefining relationships?

You know when you are attracted towards someone and feel jittery when you think about them? Then you wish to initiate, invest time and energy, and hope for some action? Further, things start, you meet someone on a date with a gut in your stomach. And then between the coffee, music, food and conversations……..voila! You discover something!

I feel dating apps are a pathway to self-discovery and a platform to understand human relationships. So much data!
Swipe right or left, the dynamics of relationships are changing. Far from what it was few years ago. Although, the motive of the dating applications is finding a match, what intrigues me is how people are making choices? How are they arriving at a decision? What is the thought process? Or simply, what happens between the swipes?

Here are my 5 perspectives on why dating applications are making people “think consciously” about relationships!

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  1. The Independent Thinkers
    The platform is an access to meet all kinds of people. Different in terms of thoughts, behaviors, actions, and patterns. Making a decision to download the application in itself is a milestone. There is a motive, a purpose, an opportunity, a reason to share and express. Irrespectively, these individuals, are on a quest, good or evil. They are the sole decision makers, with consent, there is a high level of ownership towards every action they take or every move they make! After all, mommy is not opening an account for you, generally speaking!!

The lesson: Be kind.

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2. Marriage to companionships- The reverse theory
The secret of a successful marriage is subjective in nature. Social animals have an innate desire to connect, rejuvenate and/or reproduce. Dating applications have brought shift in perspectives with regards to relationships. From scrapping the concept of fast marriages to aiming at building sustainable relationships, individuals are refraining from ‘The clock is ticking, get married ASAP!’ trend.

The lesson: Trust the process. Aim. Define your purpose/ objectives of approaching someone. Basic at least.

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3. Relationship is a collaboration.
This is one of the biggest evolutions in social psychology. Dating applications provide an immediate reflection of this thought. Wondering how?
The ideologies are changing and so are the partner expectations. In modern relationships, individuals, to each other, are not a means to satisfy each other’s basic needs, the matter seems beyond that. Relationships evolve with time. For example, “We have our respective destinies, it is not the same, and we may not complete each other.” How bold yet beautiful!

The lesson: Put your ‘thinking hats’ on.

4. Attachment-Detachment.
The world is inspired by philosophy. Love, fantasy, attraction, attachment, detachment, sorrow, madness, fear, rejections, and insecurities are indispensable part of our lives. The independent thinkers of today are ‘on the go’ like on a tourist hop on and off bus! “I am attracted right now, and feel this person is interesting.” After few days, “This doesn’t interest me anymore. I might not go ahead.” The point here isn’t about the future of the relationship, the basis is the strong ability of individuals to switch their hearts on and off, in a short period of time. Is it a problem? Is it due to the lack of clarity or too much of it? It needs some thinking.

The Lesson: Close the conversation respectfully.

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5. The search is endless, unless you ‘know thyself’.
This is the time to get closer to your thoughts. More the interactions, greater are the opportunities for self-reflection. The realms of relationships are broad, wide, and multiple. One must choose, and for that one must have personal opinions. Opinions or simply be conscious of what you mention about yourself! Dating applications demand a clarity in your thoughts. What interests you? Does this method work for you? Are you able to put your thoughts across? Are you open to new personalities? Are your likes and dislikes, genuinely yours? What are your definitions of life and love or money? Are you open to strong opinions? How do you value relationships? Or simply are you ready for this ride?

The Lesson: You may not end up finding a partner, but you might just get a crash course on “Knowing myself” in this journey!

The CEO of Bumble had an altogether different objective of creating the platform. On Bumble, women make the first move. Her vision was breaking the stereotype and change the engine.

What train are you on? Who is driving it? Do you know the destination?

Pause | Reflect |Act.

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