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Personal Leadership — How to Combat Internal Battles?

Dr Paras
11 min readJan 25, 2021

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Key Learnings from the Netflix Original series — Queen’s Gambit

While we don’t control what others do or believe in, the realms of our lives are in our hands. How we program it and how we channel our positive energy from within is something that we govern. But, with the constant stress and the competitive lifestyle that we are leading every day, it becomes extremely hard for us to self-reflect on the traits that actually bring out the best in us.

If you want to learn about Personal Leadership, the Netflix series, The Queen’s Gambit is likely the best show to binge-watch. But, before we divulge into some of the best quotes from the series that redefines the meaning of personal leadership for people, let me walk you through the basics of Personal Leadership and why it is necessary.

What is Personal Leadership?

Personal leadership is a personality trait wherein an individual needs to take proper responsibility for their own life, utilizing their strong character traits to drive their life in the direction that works the best for them. Owning up to one’s own ideals and decisions in life helps leave a positive impact and impression on others. It makes you someone worth looking up to.

The primary part to becoming a leader, even if it’s of your own life, is to commit yourself into moving in the direction of the decided path. Personal leadership is about adapting to changes and expanding your existing capabilities to make the most out of your life.

How does Personal leadership affect one’s life?

Not many people realize this but the impacts of one’s personal leadership skills aren’t just confined to one’s life. It affects their relationship with their family, friends, and the community they reside in but obviously, in a positive way.

Having proper self-discipline and self-confidence are key markers of personal leadership and helps a person evolve from their static life. Trying to achieve things aimlessly results in no positive outcome.

Honesty and integrity also play an important role in personal leadership assessment, especially in helping build better and reliable relationships with people around you. Having the ability to hold an open dialogue is also an integral part of this that should be continually honed.

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Quotes from Queen’s Gambit that Redefine Personal Leadership

When I first started watching The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix, I wasn’t that sold with the idea of the plot. Even though the series currently has one season and seven episodes, the characters entice and enrapture you right from the get-go.

But that wasn’t what caught my attention. I was hooked with the dialogues, specifically some of them that seemed like cardinal life lessons that everyone should be aware of. Personally speaking, I am not someone who enjoys boring lectures, so when talking about personal development leadership, I thought why not include the best of Queen’s Gambit’s quotes to explain the integrity of this trait in every individual reading this.

1. “It’s an entire world of just 64 squares. I feel safe in it. I can control it, I can dominate it. And it’s predictable. So, if I get hurt, I only have myself to blame.” — Beth Harmon

Self-confidence is the first step to success and Beth manages to convey the same message with this dialogue. The conviction in her voice and her confidence with every move in the game is a testimony to how your intrapersonal skills can impact your leadership skills in real life. Having the courage to own up to one’s mistakes is also a trait that defines the beauty of a people oriented relationship and this quote from the pivotal character of the series manages to convey just that.

Do you take responsibility for your own failures and do you treat your achievements with the same enthusiasm as well?

2. “Like in the books, where you know the outcome, but you play it out just to see how it would happen.” — Beth Harmon

Another quote from Beth that stands out is acceptance of a situation. The majority of the time in our lives, we are inclined towards doing things that are SAFE, that we know is confined in our comfort zone. But, for developing personal leadership skills, we need to write our own endings and not settle for the ones that are already written for us.

Are you someone who sticks to the confinement of safety and comfort or do you want to achieve better things in life by being a little more experimental?

3. “I analyze games. What actually happened, not what could have happened.” — Beth Harmon

What ifs are one of the biggest drawbacks in our lives. We are so wired thinking about the what-ifs that we fail to appreciate the present. Humans have a tendency to string along with things that are hypothetical and could have happened. And, in the meantime, we don’t appreciate or acknowledge what’s actually happening and Beth managed to get the message clear with this one.

Do you find yourself tangled in the web of “What ifs”?

4. ‘I would say that it’s much easier to play chess without the burden of Adam’s apple.’ — Beth Harmon

Gender oppression is something women have been experiencing for decades. Since The Queen’s Gambit is set along the time of the Cold War era where male domination was at its peak, witnessing a woman chess prodigy did irk people. And, Beth brings out just that with this dialogue. While she knows the front and the back of the game, the constant oppression from male dominance does pose as an interruption during the journey. But, it is her personal leadership skills and strong integrity that defined her as the winner by the end of the show.

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What do you think? Has our society overcome patriarchal oppression?

5. “It takes a strong woman to stay by herself, in a world where people will settle for anything, just to say they have something. So you never forget who you are.” — Alice Harmon

Another character that stole the show was Alice Harmon, Beth’s deceased mother. Her strong-willed mind and character were some of the traits she passed onto her daughter and you can see the reflections of the same throughout the show. Alice, in this quote, specifies how women back in the days would settle for just about anyone for a title of honor and “settled” life. But, it takes a strong-willed woman to accept challenges and establish herself as an independent woman in such situations.

Do you find yourself depending on someone more than necessary to a point where you seem to blur out your own identity?

6. “The strongest person is the person who isn’t scared to be alone.” — Alice Harmon

The thought of being alone is daunting. Not having anyone to rely on during your times of need can be scary. But it is such challenges in life that prepare an individual for the worst and shape their personality in the long run.

How often do you spend some quality “me time?”

7. “Most times when people tell us something for the best, it’s for the worst.” — Alice Harmon

Trusting in one’s own decisions is one of the key traits of personal leadership. But, it is common human nature to get persuaded by other people’s opinions and suggestions. Alice manages to give us all a reality check by suggesting that every person acting like they think the best for you is not always for the best.

Are you someone who easily gets persuaded by people’s opinions and can’t seem to stand strong on your own?

8. “Men are gonna come along and wanna teach you things. You just let them blow-by, and you go on ahead and do just what the hell you feel like.” — Alice Harmon

Another strong-willed personality quote like Alice in The Queen’s Gambit is this one. The character has time and time to show resilience, even during the times where women were kept pressed under the thumbs of men. Despite all odds, she stood out strongly and managed to retaliate for what’s right and that is exactly what every person with strong personal leadership skills should do as well.

Do you think you have the self-confidence to flourish despite the constant taunts and oppression in the society?

9. “Someday, you’re gonna be all alone. So, you need to figure out how to take care of yourself.” — Alice Harmon

Every person’s existence comes to an end and that is the circle of life. It is extremely important that we become more realistic about such situations and stop basing our lives on other people’s existence. We need to realize that there is going to come a time when we are going to be all alone in life and we need to prepare ourselves for such a time.

How often do you tell yourself that you are enough in this lifetime to a point that you are self-sufficient?

10. “I don’t know why my body is so intent on sabotaging my brain when my brain is perfectly capable of sabotaging itself.” — Alma Wheatley

Alma Wheatley, Beth’s adoptive mother highlights the daily mental health struggles that the majority of us experience. We need to understand that empathy is one of the most important skills required for personal leadership. But, while we have a tendency to be empathetic towards everyone else, we fail to do the same for ourselves.

Do you sit down and self-reflect about your mental health and the constant self-sabotaging thoughts?

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11. “Stop thinking about what might have happened in the past.” — Alma Wheatley

Being stuck with past happenings is always common in our lives. But, that is one of the most common reasons behind the affected growth of a person. The more we are hung up on our past doings, the more we set ourselves up for sabotage. If you want to improve your personal leadership skills, you need to start treating your past failures as a learning experience and evolve from them.

Are you one of those people who constantly lives in their past doings instead of moving on from the same?

12. “Intuition can’t be found in books.” — Alma Wheatley

Your gut feeling or intuition is very subjective. Finding that in the books is not something you can readily expect. So, understanding something instinctively is something that is nurtured within you over the course of time and life experiences.

Are you someone who relies on their gut feeling more than they should?

13. “Anger is a potent spice. A pinch wakes you up; too much dulls your senses.” — Harry Beltik

Anger makes us lose our conscience and affects relationships in the long run. But, humans tend to misuse their anger and that is exactly what the character of Harry Beltik tries to convey. Anger is a powerful weapon that can either propel you in the right direction or end up destroying all the progress you made in life. So, to harbour a better relationship with personal leadership, one needs to understand their emotions and be congruent in the thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Do you have a healthy outlet for your anger? Are you someone who uses the sudden burst of energy in a positive way or let it get the best of you?

14. “Maybe is a loser’s word” — Benny Watts

Conviction is important when you are trying to build your personal leadership skills. Self-doubts are often the building blocks of failure and MAYBE is a word that often alters our perception of success and leadership. Benny Watts manages to convince the audience about just that with this quote.

Are you afraid of taking chances because of the outcomes you might have no control over?

15. “You’ve been the best at what you do for so long, you don’t even know what it’s like for the rest of us.” — Jolene

Companionship is extremely important in our life, to a point that we have to not just care about ourselves but also about the people around us. Jolene, an African-American teenager who is also Beth’s closest friend depicts the emotions of being “left behind”. It tells us that just because we excel in life doesn’t mean that other people’s struggles in the same field are anywhere reduced.

Are you too selfish to deflect what other people might be feeling around you just because you are too wrapped up in your own achievements?

Final Words

Developing personal leadership skills is a work in progress. Not only does one need self-evaluation and self-reflection, but it is also extremely important for people to have constant perseverance throughout the process. Sometimes you need to be your own guide in life and sometimes, it’s okay to ask for professional help.

At Matrrix, I help you cultivate your skills to further shape yourself with the roles and qualities of a leader to train your life in the right direction, and to have a positive turnaround to your life.

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Dr Paras

As a Life Coach, I dream of inspiring, empowering, and transforming every individual on this Earth.